I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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