My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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