I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Randomize
