i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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