Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize