I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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