i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
50% drunk capacity currently
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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