my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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