I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Randomize
