to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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