I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
