I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Randomize
