I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize