How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
