woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
you made out with another girl for some wings
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
