I don't usually arrange sex via text message
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
