Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
