"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
