I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
