Whod you bang
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
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