I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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