you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Randomize
