I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
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