he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
