Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize