we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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