Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
The uberlube is also flammable
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Randomize
