:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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