Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
