If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Welp...herpes.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
