They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
