I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
