So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
