Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
