If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
He kissed a someone with a penis
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
