i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize