Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
