her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
