I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize