So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
