my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
