She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
this beer tastes like vomit already
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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