She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
should my penis look like a turkey
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
