discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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