making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize