how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Randomize
