so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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