1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
We're too hungover to prance.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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