This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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