found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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