Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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