My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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