so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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