I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
