Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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