He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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