I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
