is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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