I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
