Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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