I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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