He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Randomize
