Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
