How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
