Midget sex pt 2 tonight
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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