you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
