I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
