Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
