Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
