i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I just threw up on my dentist
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
