If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
