Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
