God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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