did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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