Will you blow on my dice?
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
