office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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